Hi, I'm Mary-Kate Fallon,
Founder & CEO of Mary-Kate Medicine.
We are going to unlock your awareness of the emotion of shame, what it entails and where it's keeping you trapped in a box of ‘too-muchness’ or 'not enoughness.'
Imagine who you could be without the nagging voice that says 'you're not enough'. This is YOUR Secret Sauce to Freedom.
I can’t wait to see you inside...
Monday October 10th 2022 @7pm BST.
Shame is the feeling of embarrassment, humiliation, and not belonging.
We feel shame when we believe we’ve violated a social norm, and that we are going to be judged by other people around us.
In these moments we feel humiliation, we feel exposed, and we feel small.
We are unable to look someone in the eye, and all we want to do is sink into the ground and disappear.
Shame is a function of society. It's a painful emotion that arises when our deepest foundational human need to feel safe and to belong remains unmet.
And because this is so painful to experience, we do anything to not feel it; including shrinking our big goals, our big dreams, desires and things we would like to experience so small that they no longer exist. All in order to manage a feeling that we’ve made up in our heads.
You deserve more than that in your life. So let’s take a look at the filter of your shame, that's not real, understand where it is, neutralise it and turn into your superpower!
Let's get real about what shame feels like...
It feels like...
Saying yes when you mean NO
It’s normal to want to help people. The shame complex is when you end up sacrificing your own needs in order to not be seen as selfish/tainted/not a good person, even if that means doing something against what YOU want...like keeping the peace (avoiding conflict) so you don’t have to deal with the aftermath emotions. Or helping people with their problems instead of resolving your own. This builds resentment & anger. You want to break free but couldn't possibly let people down.
It feels like...
Shames pipes in when your productivity falls below societies standard deemed as ‘enough’. In order to meet this standard, we live life by endless to-do lists, constantly looking for things to do and then we fall short. When we don't meet the mark, shame leads to feeling inadequate and unworthy regardless of how much we do, and sees relaxation as a privilege rather than a necessity for your wellbeing = unbearable exhaustion & striving for a mark to feel good enough.
It feels like...
Settling for a partner
The fear of being alone is more powerful than the need to love ourselves. Shame will hold us in a belief that we will only be loved if we look a certain way. If we are too big or too small, we face the risk of never being loved. This way of thinking keeps us from moving on from relationships that no longer light us up. We avoid taking the risk to find someone that fulfils us. It holds us in disappointment, hoping their partner will change whilst dreaming about the potential with someone new.
It feels like...
Not asking for help
For many of us, we are taught to be strong, independent and rely on ourselves. When we fail or don’t know what to do, we can feel like a burden. Shame will sneak in and warn you why no one should see your failures, your mistakes, your weakness – and that they will say no if you ask for help anyway, so don't ask. Shame dreads the thought of rejection, it convinces us not to ask, but also to refuse any offer of help so others won’t judge us for being weak. Following this path, people end up carrying their problems alone until finally breaking down in tears at work because no-one noticed how much pressure has been piling up over time.
It feels like...
Hiding your truth
We all want to be loved, but we fear that if people truly knew us they wouldn't love us. When we are ashamed about what makes us different, we hide our true selves behind masks of shame. This creates a version of you where people think they know who you are, but on the inside you couldn’t be more different. Shame keeps us safe from the feelings of rejection at the cost of feeling alone and an outsider unworthy of love.
It feels like...
Pretending you know, when you don't.
Shame makes people protect themselves from looking stupid. It needs to feel in control, and when it doesn’t it will manipulate the truth. It’s going through life thinking ‘Looking stupid is WAY worse than being honest with myself’.
Many people know exactly what their problems are but keep searching for answers because it's easier than feeling the shame about not knowing anything!
Imagine who you could be without the nagging voice that 'you're not enough'...
To give yourself the permission to have what you want.
To feel safe taking the risks! Make the money you desire so your bills can be paid on autopilot.
To unapologetically say NO to what you don't want so you can focus on what YOU want – saying no becomes one of your favourite feelings in the world!
To know your worth, ASK for the promotion full of confidence because deep down inside of your heart "you're" the best.
To stand and share your truth freely & express yourself in a way the feels fun and liberating...
Feel secure to move away from a relationship that's run its course and feel excited about finding the ONE that loves you the way you want to be loved.
When you release the shame from your body...
>> The way you feel about YOU changes, you feel like you CAN DO this! It feels like the person who was once just a shell is now alive.
>> Your business starts booming as people will start to see the real you, you'll wake up with YOUR inbox full of clients wanting to know about how to work with you...
>> When you feel safe in your own skin, people start loving you more, they tell how wonderful it is to see YOU happy.
>> Your workplace will present exciting opportunities for you to explore, waiting for YOU to say yes.
>> The quiet and shy you will be able to show up and be a confident, powerful woman.
>> You trust yourself, your wisdom, your skills and save your money for things that truly excite you.
There is so much more to life than what you're currently living, let's not let shame stop this from happening.
For those ready for Freedom, Joy & Elevation...
I invite you to the Shame Masterclass
"Shame occurs when your desires are denied.
Freedom occurs when you allow your desires to be voiced, and you can move towards them."
- Mary-Kate Medicine
Celebrations from the women of the last Shame Masterclass...
'To be completely honest I felt a little anxious but confidently curious about what would take place tonight as the old me would never open up about shame but the now me feels my heart fizzing.'
'I'M FEELING SO LOVED, FREE, SUPPORTED AND LIBERATED AFTER AN EVENING SPENT IN CONVERSATION WITH MY BEAUTIFUL SISTERHOOD
THANK YOU Mary-Kate Fallon-Smart FOR BEING TRULY YOU. I tried my new body suit on after the call and I feel like a real fucking powerful goddess – and I actually believe it in every layer of me.'
'To heal and dissolve such huge things as shame through the power of conversation in a loving community is everything. To open up and share the deepest parts of you, the things you hold in your body as ‘shame’ and to have these feelings and behaviours mirrored back with such courage, vulnerability and strength is the healing medicine in itself.'
'What an experience on the masterclass tonight with Mary-Kate, it was amazing to be in a container with so many women and realise we are not alone in our stories and pattern. I now know what I needed to attend - thank you!'
Wait a minute – Who is Mary-Kate?
Wounds to Wisdom to Wealth.
Mary-Kate is the CEO of Mary-Kate Medicine. She is a thought leader in Un-Shaming and a serious FUN expert.
As an unconventional shaman and medicine woman, she is a healer first while coaching ambitious, committed spiritual men and women who want to expand their power, purpose, and prosperity.
She believes that laughter is one of the most powerful medicines there is, she's playful and fun, but also fiercely committed to her clients' success.
Second generation Irish, self-made by choice.
MK worked in corporate sales for 15 years before becoming a mother and shifting her focus to the healing arts.
Releasing her high flying career she took a coffee shop job while training as a reiki healer, became a single mum to two beautiful girls and built a multi 6 figure shaming coaching practice in two years!
Mary-Kate knows what it takes to create success on your own terms, freedom against all the odd & loves nothing more than a good craic and creating dream results you never thought possible!
YOUR Secret Sauce to to Silencing YOUR Inner Critic, Feeling Confident, Being Happy & Getting What YOU Want.
Shame is a feeling that creates emotions that keep us STUCK.
It feels like chains around our necks. We may not be able to see them, but they're there and weighing us down every day – pressuring us into believing that our bodies aren't good enough or worthy of love.
You can feel it every time you look at a magazine and see models wearing clothes YOU LOVE but thinking about how YOUR figure doesn’t match up to theirs and then saying “Oh no! I couldn't do that," or accepting these thoughts as TRUE forevermore, and feeling like a complete outsider.
I am going to show you how to detach from these chains by simply noticing what they were...
Thoughts, stories or learned behaviours from adults that kept us safe as children when we grew up believing everything around us – even if this wasn't true! This is why as adults we can feel stuck in life, business and relationships, constantly wondering what’s wrong with us…
The problem with following shameful thoughts is that you end up creating a war inside of yourself.
And, what you experience on the inside is what you'll experience in your life, in relationships, and how you feel day to day.
What we believe manifests in our lives. So, if we believe we are not good enough, or that we are undeserving of love and happiness, that is exactly what we will experience. Our thoughts create what we experience.
When we repeat shameful thoughts over and over, they become our truth, which is what keeps us trapped.
We start to panic more and more about outcomes, always preparing for the worst case scenario. This only amplifies the shame and negative feelings we have about ourselves.
The feeling of shame is also one major reason why so many business owners feel like they're failing in their own businesses, or not reaching the six figures. We see other peoples posts on social media and hear them boast about how many new clients they signed overnight, but when you follow suit it's radio silence!
But here's the thing: you're not alone. In fact, the very people who seem to have everything together are often the ones struggling the most on the inside.
How do I know this? Because this IS the path I have walked myself.
I had no idea I WAS HOLDING SHAME... which then felt humiliating because I teach this!
I know what it feels like to be trapped in your own shame.
For YEARS I've been healing women from their shame, from burnt out CEOs to women who just felt trapped, not realising I was holding shame in my own body.
Even when I was experiencing it... me, the expert... I didn't recognise it as shame.
I just felt trapped, and disgusting.
I was a shame specialist who didn't know she had shame.
My shame motor fired out thoughts like...
"Who the hell is going work with you?"
" You are a fraud to teach that – your not shame-free, how could you teach others?!"
I would get super excited about launching my new courses, then stop talking about them in case people did sign up and saw MY dirty little secret...
That I didn't live up to what I said I did on my social media posts.
I was striving towards a mark that felt galaxies away.
And only certain people could reach it.
So I tried to be like these people...
I pretended to be happy on the outside, whilst on the inside I was miserable.
I copied what the industry leaders did, even though it wasn't MY truth.
I hired the best coaches, hoping they would show me the missing puzzle piece.
Shame kept me in cycle of needing to be loudest, most powerful and perfect leader, mother & healer whilst I desired something else...
Shame's job is keep you stuck, so you stay safe.
We get stuck in loops of low emotions when shame is present.
This leads us into loops of marrying the same patterns over again, such as binge eating from the cardboards (even things we don’t like) and hiding the wrappers; we scroll through social media instead of writing the copy for your business, holding everything inside until you snap at dogs/kids who just want love too. Eventually we break down into tears (or wine) because no one understands what's happening deep inside our bodies.
Deep down we still have a fear "What will people think?" or even worse, “I'm not good enough." We will do ANYTHING to NOT face the inner turmoil.
But as we know, that doesn’t work either – it’s basically internal suffering!
This is Shame's Purpose.
To keep you stuck, in suffering, where it feels 'safe'.
The shame you feel is a sign that something within yourself needs to change. It's time for the courage and wisdom of your greatest gift!
Lets us build freedom by turning shite to LIGHT!
I’ve recorded some videos, and deleted them. And written stuff. And deleted it. Mostly because I can’t find the words to express how much growth I had after working with MK and some other beautiful souls in a healing container. The trajectory of my whole life changed in the second week. It was like seeing the ground behind me just slip away like a land side with just the path In front of me. You see why there are no words???? That was the second week. There were a lot tears and some massive shifts and I was held by my sisters every step of the way. And even though there is so much distance between the UK and the US the time difference is doable…invest in your healing….that is the single most important thing you can do right now. Find the right support, teachers and sisters to have your back. Start here…it’s a choice, you can change your mind at any time and go in a different direction. …dip a toe. Join some beautiful, crazy like minded souls in some healing.
I believe everyone needs a Mary-Kate. I came to MK feeling depleted, alone and desperate for freedom. What I didn’t know was that I carry SO much baggage that it felt impossible to love myself let alone live freely. Today and everyday I wake up feeling peace in my mind, in my body and in my business. I feel my insides have been cleaned, I know myself more than I ever did before, and I can truly lead myself to live the life I WANT that's not governed by fear, lack and shame.
Shame Masterclass Attendee.
Last night I joined the Shame Masterclass. I’ve been curious for so long, following from the sidelines at a ‘safe’ distance. It was a first for me in more ways than one. My first class having only attending a few Sunday services in the past and the first time I joined a group of others to talk about the things we don’t talk about, the things we keep hidden and yet we gathered and shared and we did it together. I rode a wave of emotions, sometimes feeling sick to my stomach but it was so worth pushing through that to reach the revelations that were to come. I don’t know why I felt yesterday was my time to take plunge, but I’m so happy that I did.
It’s time to be ‘courageously curious’, get off the sidelines and jump in and what a beautiful community to jump into, arms wide and hearts open. So much love, warmth, acceptance and support was shared last night and today I celebrate that and thank everyone there for embracing each our and our own ‘little girls’. Mary-Kate, your honesty was compelling and I feel honoured to have shared in those moments with you. You’re a beautiful soul, authentic and true. Thank you for showing your pain, giving so much of yourself to us and dropping the mask to guide us all to our healing journeys, now to keep walking the path together.
To anyone like me, walking the beach, looking at the sea, DIVE IN! The water’s beautiful